The Mummy Review

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        This thing is a mess. There’s no way around, not even Tom Cruise’s seductive charm can salvage such a boring blockbuster. I have no idea what was going on behind the scenes as the resulting product feels like a failed hybrid of a thousand different horror movies and the set-up for the Dark Universe, and a Tom Cruise action flick at the same time. Maybe you can use the logic that this is a sacrificial failure for the greater good of the Dark Universe, but looking at the direction they’re taking that in it doesn’t look like future entires in the cinematic universe will be any better.

      Let’s address the dreadful hodgepodge I mentioned earlier this film is composed of. First of all, the attempt at including elements from clearly superior horror films to try and make this one even the slightest degree better. The clearest rip-off being the fact that they try and make Vail, played by Jake Johnson, into Dunne’s character from An American Werewolf in London and it fails miserably. The same can be said about how they try and make they label the Mummy with the same desires as It in It Follows because that was popular a couple years ago or the fact that they try and replicate the genius of Werner Herzog’s famous rat scene from Nosferatu. But unlike the engrossing originality from any of the things they tried to emulate, the product ended up being unfunny, uninteresting, and not scary at all.

      Secondly, there’s the fact that this film goes about setting up a cinematic universe the wrong way. It sacrifices the good of its product for scenes upon scenes of exposition dialogue or scenes devoted towards the future that ignore the now. Such diverted devotion leaves the product at hand incredibly dull and devoid of any purpose beyond that of setting up a universe that’ll probably die with its failure at the box office.

      Lastly, there’s the attempt at making a film clearly titled The Mummy into an Tom Cruise action flick. Is there a way of doing this, yeah, maybe its not the best movie but Brendan Fraser’s The Mummy is still good fun. The thing is Fraser’s Mummy was entirely focused on the product at hand and not dragged down by non-existent future entries. But, back to what I said earlier, The Mummy shouldn’t be a Cruise action flick packed with two women that are unreasonably sexually attached towards his character, a airplane stunt and countless scenes of Cruise running around from evil. The only reason Tom Cruise is in this movie is because the protagonist is so unlikable only he could bring any saving grace to such a dud.

        Well, I guess those are my ranting thoughts on The Mummy, the sad attempt at set-up and flat-out failure. Hopefully Bill Condon can redeem the Dark Universe just like Jenkins did for the DCEU, as for now I’m completely uninterested due to the lackluster performance of The Mummy, a movie that showed no promise whatsoever and still managed to underwhelm.


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