I watched How to Be Single about an hour ago and I’d already forgotten I’d watched it, sincerely, if you went back in time and erased this movie from existence there would probably be zero ripple effects. This film is harmless, it could easily not exist but it does, thus I must review it. Starring Dakota Johnson as a girl who pretends to find out what it means to be single and instead spend most of her time being single looking for man so she can cease to be independant, How to Be Single is ridiculous, this film’s cast is full of people I like and they all suck in this film. Ders from Workaholics is in this and he sucks in it, Rebel Wilson whom I love from the first Pitch Perfect because I didn’t the second one is slowly becoming a joke onto her own much like Melissa McCarthy has, Alison Brie is so disjointed from the film’s actual story I won’t even talk about her, I guess Jason Mantzoukas is kind of funny in it, and Dakota Johnson whom I am actually really intrigued to see in Luca Gaudagino’s version of Suspiria doesn’t really do much in this movie, much like everyone around her. Its got a fine contemporary soundtrack, sure, and it looks nice, but apart from that How to be Single falls flat on every other level, like I said, I can barely remember what happened in it and I watched it about an hour ago, the only reason I remember what happened in it is because it follows the same story as every other rom-com out there, sure its harmless, but I’d rather it go for something different, make a bold statement, change the genre up a bit or something instead of tell the same story that was told better fifty years ago. How to Be Single is a failure, it could easily disappear from existence and its film’s stars wouldn’t even mind because it didn’t do anything for them and instead became an invaluable piece of their filmography, thus leading me to rate it a 36 out of 100.